I understand that I havent kept this up. I just realized that the one person I want to keep in contact with doesnt have any other way to do so other than read this.. My life really does suck.. all my friends are turning against me. The one person I love finally said he loves me but until we both do a lot of growing up there isnt a future.. Once I get more money at work hopefully things might change..Im not the only one tho. There are things in his life that need to change too. If im going to do all this to be with him then there are things he can do too... Aw hell... what am I going to do... I have no one to talk to about this..

Now aside from the guy thing heres the whole friend thing... A friend of mine did something that was totally disrespectful and when she told me about it I felt like it was something that needed to be told.. well when I did tell it got back to her(which didnt bug me because it was wrong ) and she told that person that I was telling a lie.. well if I was going to tell a lie about something that was going to rip apart a friendship I would at least make it worth my while. I had nothing to gain from telling this(aside from the truth being told)... oh well...

Ok well all is said... Write more another day since Eric now has internet...